( Jun. 6th, 2009 05:23 pm)
So far I haven't had the time/energy to post anything here, or to add a userpic or to do much of anything really, but I promise if you guys stick with me I'll get the hang of it soon!


I just quit my job. I'll be working here till the end of July and then that's it.

(this is posted both here at dreamwidth and at lj. I finally figured out how to do that)
( May. 4th, 2009 03:41 pm)
I'm unwrapping porn today and the strangest thing is happening. People have started lingering by the counter after coming up from the basement (where we have all the porn that's for sale, over 6000 titles), asking if we're going to get new titles. I tell them the truth, that all the new titles have already been presented in the "new"-section downstairs. They eye the box next to me. I tell them that these movies are old titles that have already been shown downstairs. They linger. I tell them that they can feel free to look through it and they throw themselves at it as if it was the holy grail of porn. As if this one box will hold something much greater than what they were able to find downstairs.

They then buy the movies they brought up from the basement. As I told them, these movies are old.
It's amazing to me how fast something can become a habit. Today, when I went in to the coffee shop next to my work I didn't even need to tell the woman behind the counter what I wanted, she just filled a large mug with coffee and gave it to me (I've bullied them into lending me real cups for my coffee in an attempt to spare the environment the massive amounts of extra garbage caused by my excessive drinking of coffee). It made me feel all warm inside.
I slept very well tonight, despite disturbingly hentaiesque dreams of sex at the bottom of the ocean with the Sea King (who was your dad, [livejournal.com profile] 45hasle) and an orgy in the bathroom of a post office in Tokyo, so I don't know why I would be so clumsy today. But I am.

It started with me ripping my pantyhose as I was trying to put it on. After I got another pantyhose I started breaking my makeup by dropping it on the floor so I gave up on makeup. Slightly late, I jumped on the tram and bought coffee at Kaffebrenneriet close to my work. Cue: the breaking of 2 coffee lids before I got one to fit. Then I nearly spilled coffee all over myself when I tried to answer the phone, and again when I tried to carefully set it down on the ground while unlocking the door to work.

Noticing that the store was filthy, I realized that I had to vacuum (even though we've hired someone to do that for us, who never seems to show up). I never thought it'd be possible to dismantle a piece of equipment in so many different ways. It kept falling apart. In the end I had to carry it with me in one arm and vacuum with the other and even then I was on the brink of tearing down merchandise continuously. Then, when I sat down by the computer, I felt my pantyhose rip. I'm now wearing a crotchless pantyhose. Oh, and I stained my skirt.

Despite all this, I'm having a great day. Don't ask me why...
I'm oddly tired today. I woke up well-rested and ready for a day of selling porn, but as I was frying bacon for breakfast I started noticing that something was off. It started with the bacon. I couldn't pry the slices apart and I got really angry and desperate. After about a minute I was ready to believe I wouldn't be able to make eggs and bacon and actually have time to eat it before I had to leave for work (enter the hero [livejournal.com profile] 3ff3ct3r who reminded me that I had coffee, saved the bacon, kissed me and made fried onions).

I felt better after I got to work and opened the store, but every time I actually try to do something (like sorting through the mess left for me behind the counter) I get incredibly annoyed and give up before I even start. I figured coffee would help so I closed the store for 5 minutes to run and get some, but so far the only result of that has been that I burned my lip trying to drink it and immediately started to feel like I can't do anything right.

I wish I could just go work out and then sit at a café for the rest of the day.
( Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:07 pm)
I just got asked if I wanted to sell my own used stockings to a customer via mail order. I've always been very self-concious about the way my feet smell, so I passed on this opportunity to make a quick buck. Would you have done the same?

[Poll #1376757]
Okay, so I got tagged at facebook, but since I'm friends with my coworkers and I don't want them to know what a slob I am at work today, I'll answer here instead.

I tag whoever wants to do this!

awesome meme )
I guy just came in, pointed towards our magazine of personal ads (mostly for prostitutes), gave me 3 bags, made high beeping noises and pointed towards the basement where we have all the porn.

I did the only thing I could think of. I took his bags, nodded in a calming way and made a suggestive wave towards the basement and off he went. I wonder what he's gonna buy.

Update: He bought 3 ridiculously dull straight pornos. I'm a little disappointed.
( Mar. 26th, 2009 12:25 pm)
In Big Love we were told that it's easy for people who grew up in polygamy to slide back into it. The same, it seems, is true for working in a porn store. That's right people, I thought I'd moved on, leaving Duo Shop behind me, but it was not the case.

It's weird. I haven't been here for nearly three years, but not much has changed. I'm sitting on the same chair, avoiding putting price tags on the same brands of movies and drinking coffee from the same coffee shop. The people working here are new though, and we have a new cash register. But other than that, it's all the same.

So far I'm a little bored, but I'm sure the slow pace will actually be good for me. After all, I've gotten used to working under extreme pressure and having a stress level like noone I know. It will be nice to get used to the slow pace of this store.
( Feb. 25th, 2009 02:59 pm)
I think the reason that grown-ups are lazy is that kids are told not to run by their parents and teachers. Today, two kids came with their father to the clinic. While he was getting treated, they had a 20-30minutes competition to see who could run fastest in the back of our clinic. Forth and back, forth and back. It's a long time since I've seen anybody that happy. Of course, their dad berated them when he was done with his treatment for making too much noise and I felt kinda sad.

As I was on my way to my appointment at the hairdresser's later in the day, I realized that I was late and decided to run instead of walk to the place (it's down the hall from the clinic). It was exhilerating! Of course I had to ignore angry stares from every single patient I passed on the way, but I did and just kept on smiling. See, if I hadn't been constantly told not to run in the halls or in the store when I was a kid, I might have the lung capasity of a normal human being, and not an 80-year-old chain smoker.
( Jan. 12th, 2009 08:45 pm)
Today has been a pretty productive day actually. I feel very accomplished. I dragged myself out of bed and went training in the morning, followed by a meeting with my tutor who alleviated most of my fears about my masters by helping me narrow down my field of study and source material. Then I met [livejournal.com profile] aj_stalin for coffee before I borrowed two newly published works on North European Aid. I then went home, read 50 pages and wrote a summary of them, emailed my work so far to my tutor, did some weight lifting, updated my schedule and finally crashed on the couch.

Now dinner is nearly done and everything is nice and cozy.
1. My attempted one week off from coffee went spectacularly bad. I got grumpy and tired and ended up eating chocolate to keep going at work. Suffice to say, I lasted one day and then I started drinking it again. I'm accepting my fate as a coffee addict.

2. Today was my last day of work at the clinic. I have a Christmas break followed by (hopefully) my last year as a student. I'm conflicted, sad and confused. My boss hugged me goodbye and I wish I was already done studying.

3. I'm going home for the holidays in one hour. Have not started packing yet. Will miss you all and I hope you all have a very nice Christmas with all it entails for you! *hugs entire flist*
( Dec. 23rd, 2008 04:34 pm)
I'm not a great believer in magic. In fact, I believe that most fantastical occurrences in this world can be aptly explained by science. But in the last few months, a series of events have occurred which have given me a sneaking suspicion that there might actually be something else, something unexplainable, at work in this world.

When I'd just started working at Linderud Chiropractor clinic I noticed an ugly ass statue above the kitchen sink. When asked, my boss told me that it was a statue made by a friend of his, a Native American sorcerer who carved statues of great power. That was a warrior, meant to fight off bad energy in the clinic. I always got a bad feeling about this statue, but I chose to ignore it and to keep my lack of faith in the power of it to myself.

Then one day, the statue was gone, replaced by another statue. This one was appealing. A gorgeous feminine shape with flowing limbs, reminding you of rivers and silence. All dark colors and mystique. I loved this statue and after a while I asked my boss what it symbolized. He said he was sad the other figure was gone and he missed it, but it had done it's job and this statue was a female warrior meant to bring feminine power back in the clinic. Nice, I thought and left the statue alone.

Then, throughout the fall, I noticed a change in the mood of the clinic. First, there was an increase in female patients followed by an increase of babies getting treated. Then, I started changing my view on kids. Suddenly, they started looking appealing and the idea of having one of my own started popping into my head. It obviously started popping into Armando's head too, since he started talking about it. Then, the female patients started getting pregnant in rapid succession and Armando got back together with his woman and they decided that they were getting another kid.

Now, almost once a week, another female patient will let us know that’s she’s gotten pregnant, or a male patient will mention his wish for kids. I’ve seen the signs and I know what this means: I’m getting out of the clinic before I accidentally become pregnant too.
Ever since I started my new and better life (which includes very little candy and snacks, no smoking and vigorous workouts), I’ve started substituting all my cravings for coffee. I want chocolate: I drink coffee. I might crave a juicy cheese burger: I have a double espresso. I feel like eating chips with dip: I take a cortado with soymilk.

This has worked out pretty nicely for me so far, but today I realized, right after I bullied a patient into buying me a double cortado with soymilk, that I might have become an addict. You see, I’ve been craving sugar all day, getting steadily grumpier and more stressed out, but two sips of coffee and I’m mellow as a tired kitten. I have a warm and lovely feeling in my tummy, I look forward to Christmas and I’ve started planning an awesome dinner for tonight.

So, should I be worried? Or should I just accept that I am an addict and make sure I get at least one cup per day?
*waves at flist*

I don't think I've ever been this excited about Christmas. It is weird, but very time I walk past a tacky fake Christmas tree or light ornaments my tummy gets this warm, comfy feeling inside and I start dreaming about Christmas. The cakes, the food, the gløgg, the snow, the Christmas trees, the presents. I've decided to force my office to partake in this inflated holiday cheer by buying red candles and gløgg and Christmas cookies to serve to the patients.

So how about you guys? Are you looking forward to Christmas? What holiday traditions do you love/hate? What are you most excited about?
( Nov. 17th, 2008 01:23 pm)
I just took one of the first bites of my lunch when my jaw when *clickbreak* and started hurting. Now I can't close or open my mouth properly and eating is completely out of the question. I took one painkiller, but so far it's not helping. All it does is make my tongue feel kinda numb thus making talking difficult.

My boss, kind man that he is, suggested this was a sign that I should attempt to shut up for the rest of the day (then he gave me said painkiller and told me to be careful and try to move my jaw as little as possible).
I’m just signing in to let you all know that we’re dying over here. The clinic I’m working at is suffering from a serious case of exhaustion. It now seems less of a normal place of employment and more of an impression of an episode of the three stooges.

A good example of this happened yesterday, when I found a sign that said “We’re changing the opening hours from December 6th” and a list of new opening hours. Fair enough, I thought. I’m going to quit anyway, so if the woman who’s taking over for me wants shorter opening hours, then I don’t mind terribly. I guess they didn’t discuss it with me because it’s no longer my business. I then put the sign up by the front desk as indicated by the fact that the sign was found in the “to front desk” box.

About half an hour later my boss came over to me and asked me. “Are we changing the opening hours?” with a tone of voice that clearly implied that he didn’t think that would be up to him, but to me. It took us about another five minutes to figure out that the sign was in fact 3 years old and had been put in the “to front desk” pile by accident the day before after it had been found in a dark corner. To be quite honest, I’m impressed that we didn’t actually change the opening hours by accident.

6 weeks to go.
( Nov. 4th, 2008 12:49 pm)
It's amazing what just one hour more of sleep can do to my effectiveness and good mood at work. Today work is calm and nice, while yesterday it was a living nightmare. I love that I remembered that I still have a bottle of Cosylan. Now my dreams were fluffy and warm while I was comfortably sedated throughout the night, rather than coughing like crazy and sleepless.

Maybe I can even get well this way? *fingers crossed*
Man I hate being sick. I hate it about as much as I hate people who have yet to realize the beauty of lj-cuts, and that says a lot. I haven't even gotten out of bed yet, my head hurts too much. I put clothes on at 1 because delivery guys were coming by with our dishwasher (dishwashing squee) and I promptly fell asleep while the electrician came to plug it in. My day has consisted of answering the phone and pretending to be at work (since the only person who could fill in for me at work is our massage therapist, who doesn't speak Norwegian), and sleeping in-between the phone calls. Really difficult to pretend to know what's going on while waking up 17 times, but at least it's better than being at work.

Food so far today: 1 power bar from the box on the shelf in my room and half a cup of peppermint tea. I'm thinking of ordering in some Chinese at some point. Delivery services deliver drinks as well, right?
( Oct. 26th, 2008 11:00 pm)
I broke up with my boss. That´s right, I quit my job. From January I´m going back to school to finish my degree. It was horrible, but even though I´m going to miss the clinic, I think it´s the right choice. Problem is that I don´t really want to study, I just want to be done, finished with my degree and ready to start working.

In other news, I finally got to see the episode of MST3000 with Creepy Girl. Me, [livejournal.com profile] aj_stalin and [livejournal.com profile] 3ff3ct3r are watching it on our new, awesome flatscreen. And tomorrow we´re getting a dishwasher. I´m so established it´s scary (and the scariest part is how comfy it is).




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