( Jun. 6th, 2009 05:23 pm)
So far I haven't had the time/energy to post anything here, or to add a userpic or to do much of anything really, but I promise if you guys stick with me I'll get the hang of it soon!


I just quit my job. I'll be working here till the end of July and then that's it.

(this is posted both here at dreamwidth and at lj. I finally figured out how to do that)
( May. 29th, 2009 05:52 pm)
This does not mean that I will stop posting at livejournal, but I'm checking this out and seeing how I can make it work for me.

If you're on dreamwidth look me up! martinemonster is my name.
( May. 29th, 2009 10:45 am)
So, I'm trying to figure out this dreamwidth stuff that everyone's talking about, and so far I think I've managed to get it to automatically crosspost my entries from here, but when I tried to import my journal, it keeps saying "invalid username". So, what's my username on lj?

Update: Strike that. I did not manage to get it to automatically crosspost. Help someone?
( May. 24th, 2009 10:55 pm)
I'm here, hunched over my books, so tired of studying that I don't know what to do. Even though it feels to me like I'm hiding my complete stressed-out-madness from the world, I have been told that this is not the case. So now I'll be hiding from the world until Tuesday. Wish me luck flist. I really need it!
Since exam periods are times for general musings and big, mindblowing realizations, I figure it was time to hear from you guys.

Please tell me: Why do you blog?
Ever sit with a book full of sentences that are so dull that they lose all meaning to you?

*dying here*
And now I've gotten a cold. I'm snifling around in my apartment feeling sorry for myself with a tummy bloated up to a faux 3-months pregnancy due to the cheesecake I had yesterday, so worth it a headache, general tiredness and a sore troath. So unfair!

(the smart thing would probably be to take today off so I'd be bored out of my mind by tomorrow and therefore probably more inclined to study, but I'm forcefeeding myself Scale and Scope - the dynamics of industrial capitalism" instead. I figure I can probably get through a bunch of pages even though I'm all mushy on the inside. Wish me luck!)
I've been studying for enough years now to know my habits pretty well. When exams are approching and it's time for crunch, first my flight or fight instinct kicks in and I start dreaming of going to far off places; bicycling to India, jumping on a plane without checking the destination, you get the picture. This year, I offset this by deciding to go with my parents to New York in the fall.

The trouble with me, however, is that when I offset the need to be elsewhere by actually planning something, my brain instantly switches over to procrastrination mode and starts looking for a project. This can only be offset by there not being any viable projects that I actually want to do.

One such easily countered potential project was the reorganizing of my wardrobe. It entails moving the shelves and is basically deemed too much trouble. Therefore I could go back to reading. But then I looked out on my terrasse. It was basically undecorated, with old, white patio furniture which showed signs of aging. And I know it couldn't be that much trouble to buy new furniture and, more importantly, the reward this project would be clearly visible and almost instant. My brain started bubbling with ideas. And the minute that happens, it's too late. Nomatter how much I try to focus on my curriculum after that point, it just can't be done. So yesterday, I re-furnished my terrasse.

pictures! )

You are all invited to see it in person of course. I promise it's awesome!
( May. 12th, 2009 11:02 am)
Do you know that feeling of shame mixed with pleasure you get when you satisfy an urge you know is wrong? I'm not talking about your secret pleasure for biting your nails, I mean that hardcore bad stuff like bestiality, scat or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang the musical? I imagine that people who have these urges but refuse to satisfy them for reasons unknown, might get dreams where they take part in their favorite vice and then get deeply shamed afterwards.

Speaking of, last night I had a dream that I was just going to throw away the leftovers of a giant chocolate cake (basically looking like the cake in Mathilda). I figured I'd just take a small bite of it, and then I couldn't stop and ate the whole thing. I felt immensely, almost sexually, satisfied before realizing that what I did had been wrong and I woke up with a feeling of deep shame and guilt. It took me about 5 minutes to figure out why I was feeling so bad.
I just told a 10 year old kid with big blue eyes that no, I was not interested in supporting her school trip by buying stuff from her. I feel like a bitch. Didn't even think of a good excuse to tell her. Just:

School girl, very young and sweet: Hi, would you want to buy lottery tickets to support our class trip?
Me, tired and grumpy from annoying schoolwork: No.

*awkward silence*

Me, too late: um, I don't have any money on me.
Girl, visibly relieved by the lie to stem the awkwardness: Ah, okay, bye!

Not a great day...
Yesterday was my first full day of preparing for my exam in the history of Western Economic History (which is looming in my immediate future). It went excellent. 140pages read and understood. I felt positively on top of everything.

Today, however, I overslept. Then, I started reading articles like Richard Tilly's "German Banking 1850-1914" with lovely sentences like:

According to the "Mean-Variance"-theory, wealthholders with a given risk-yield preference (conventionally expressed as α) will reach equilibrium by fulfilling the conditions expressed in the following equation: and then follows a 28 character equation which I can't even find the symbols to replicate here, including 3 different Greek letters and Lagrange mulitpliers and what not else.

Thank you world. So far I've gotten through 30 pages. *sigh*
( May. 4th, 2009 03:41 pm)
I'm unwrapping porn today and the strangest thing is happening. People have started lingering by the counter after coming up from the basement (where we have all the porn that's for sale, over 6000 titles), asking if we're going to get new titles. I tell them the truth, that all the new titles have already been presented in the "new"-section downstairs. They eye the box next to me. I tell them that these movies are old titles that have already been shown downstairs. They linger. I tell them that they can feel free to look through it and they throw themselves at it as if it was the holy grail of porn. As if this one box will hold something much greater than what they were able to find downstairs.

They then buy the movies they brought up from the basement. As I told them, these movies are old.
( May. 3rd, 2009 09:48 pm)
It seems like people are getting married all over the place this summer, and I've yet to get invited to anything barring a drunken invitation to the wedding of a guy I once fucked, but until I see that invitation in writing, I'm not counting on it. It makes me feel a bit cheated. So if you're getting married, won't you invite me? I promise not to get uncharmingly drunk and barf on the cake, and I will bring a present and wear a pretty dress.
( May. 3rd, 2009 12:17 pm)
When I got out of bed this morning, my hair looked wonderful. It was slightly curly, very big and looked as if I'd spent about an hour fixing it. So I decided to just leave it like that for the rest of the day and chose clothes to match my awesome hairdo.

By the time I reached work, my hair had fallen down, no more curls. Now it just looks like I'm a filthy hippie who don't believe in brushes...

I felt a little bad about bugging my professor after 11pm on the 1st of May, but I figured he wouldn't check his email until Monday so I'd just have to wait patiently for my reply. But he answered within the hour. Guess I'm not the only one working late on a national holiday.

*hearts my professor*
( May. 1st, 2009 10:43 am)
Hope you have an awesome day. I would go and protest, but I have to work (ironically)
( Apr. 30th, 2009 08:03 am)
It's eight o'clock over here in Norway and I'm already up and studying. This would so not have happened during winter, but now that spring is here with sun and light mornings I feel like I've slept in if I sleep till 7.30. Okay, so I'm not dressed and I haven't had my coffee yet, but I am reading this blasted file I'll have to return by 10.30.

Have a lovely day everyone!
( Apr. 29th, 2009 04:10 pm)
I'm so hungry today. Not sure why, but I keep eating reasonable portions of food and still being hungry. And, since I have such a lovely schedule, I'm never in a position to get more food after I figure out I'm still hungry (about 30minutes after I eat). Blargh!
I've only just unpacked my bags from the larpconvention I attend almost every year and now I'm packing again. This time to go to Bologna with my mom. We usually take a trip together every other year and this time we decided it'd be to a place with a bit more sun and heat than Norway (even though we're not complaining about the spring weather here, after all it is pretty awesome as well). In my head I'm already drinking coffee at a small sidewalk cafe and writing on my laptop. Which I think I'll bring. I didn't bring it to the convention and I bitterly regretted it, and I think I feel inspiration calling (or it could be the wine, I never can tell) so I might actually get some writing done even though it's my vacation.

So this is it folks *waves* See you next week!




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