It's amazing to me how fast something can become a habit. Today, when I went in to the coffee shop next to my work I didn't even need to tell the woman behind the counter what I wanted, she just filled a large mug with coffee and gave it to me (I've bullied them into lending me real cups for my coffee in an attempt to spare the environment the massive amounts of extra garbage caused by my excessive drinking of coffee). It made me feel all warm inside.
I slept very well tonight, despite disturbingly hentaiesque dreams of sex at the bottom of the ocean with the Sea King (who was your dad, [livejournal.com profile] 45hasle) and an orgy in the bathroom of a post office in Tokyo, so I don't know why I would be so clumsy today. But I am.

It started with me ripping my pantyhose as I was trying to put it on. After I got another pantyhose I started breaking my makeup by dropping it on the floor so I gave up on makeup. Slightly late, I jumped on the tram and bought coffee at Kaffebrenneriet close to my work. Cue: the breaking of 2 coffee lids before I got one to fit. Then I nearly spilled coffee all over myself when I tried to answer the phone, and again when I tried to carefully set it down on the ground while unlocking the door to work.

Noticing that the store was filthy, I realized that I had to vacuum (even though we've hired someone to do that for us, who never seems to show up). I never thought it'd be possible to dismantle a piece of equipment in so many different ways. It kept falling apart. In the end I had to carry it with me in one arm and vacuum with the other and even then I was on the brink of tearing down merchandise continuously. Then, when I sat down by the computer, I felt my pantyhose rip. I'm now wearing a crotchless pantyhose. Oh, and I stained my skirt.

Despite all this, I'm having a great day. Don't ask me why...
( Apr. 9th, 2009 11:21 pm)
So, you think you're harder than me? Huh? HUH?

I'll see you in the dojo: http://martinemonster.mybrute.com/
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I'm oddly tired today. I woke up well-rested and ready for a day of selling porn, but as I was frying bacon for breakfast I started noticing that something was off. It started with the bacon. I couldn't pry the slices apart and I got really angry and desperate. After about a minute I was ready to believe I wouldn't be able to make eggs and bacon and actually have time to eat it before I had to leave for work (enter the hero [livejournal.com profile] 3ff3ct3r who reminded me that I had coffee, saved the bacon, kissed me and made fried onions).

I felt better after I got to work and opened the store, but every time I actually try to do something (like sorting through the mess left for me behind the counter) I get incredibly annoyed and give up before I even start. I figured coffee would help so I closed the store for 5 minutes to run and get some, but so far the only result of that has been that I burned my lip trying to drink it and immediately started to feel like I can't do anything right.

I wish I could just go work out and then sit at a café for the rest of the day.
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] shehasathree

we're all the same )
( Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:07 pm)
I just got asked if I wanted to sell my own used stockings to a customer via mail order. I've always been very self-concious about the way my feet smell, so I passed on this opportunity to make a quick buck. Would you have done the same?

[Poll #1376757]
Every time I'm on the treadmill or the eliptical thingie I feel like shit. Usually I'm bored to tears after about 2.5minutes and I feel like a complete failure with no stamina, sweating all over the place. So, today, instead of listening to music, I decided to watch television (since our gym caters to lazy asses like myself and therefore provides entertainment for your workouts). So I watched a program called "The world's biggest loser" or something like that, about two teams of overweight women fighting to lose the most weight in a set amount of time.

It was perfect. There I was, sweating my ass off, but at least I know I'm able to run and have quit smoking unlike those poor losers who were getting excellent advice and still weren't able to pull off any major weightloss. I looked at those women crying on the tv screen and I immediately felt better about me. In Norway we have a saying: Egen lykke er bra, men andres ulykke er heller ikke å forakte (rougly translated: Your own happiness is good, but the misfortune of others should not be scorned either). I live by that saying.
Okay, so I got tagged at facebook, but since I'm friends with my coworkers and I don't want them to know what a slob I am at work today, I'll answer here instead.

I tag whoever wants to do this!

awesome meme )
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I guy just came in, pointed towards our magazine of personal ads (mostly for prostitutes), gave me 3 bags, made high beeping noises and pointed towards the basement where we have all the porn.

I did the only thing I could think of. I took his bags, nodded in a calming way and made a suggestive wave towards the basement and off he went. I wonder what he's gonna buy.

Update: He bought 3 ridiculously dull straight pornos. I'm a little disappointed.
( Mar. 26th, 2009 12:25 pm)
In Big Love we were told that it's easy for people who grew up in polygamy to slide back into it. The same, it seems, is true for working in a porn store. That's right people, I thought I'd moved on, leaving Duo Shop behind me, but it was not the case.

It's weird. I haven't been here for nearly three years, but not much has changed. I'm sitting on the same chair, avoiding putting price tags on the same brands of movies and drinking coffee from the same coffee shop. The people working here are new though, and we have a new cash register. But other than that, it's all the same.

So far I'm a little bored, but I'm sure the slow pace will actually be good for me. After all, I've gotten used to working under extreme pressure and having a stress level like noone I know. It will be nice to get used to the slow pace of this store.
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( Mar. 24th, 2009 10:24 pm)
I pride myself in being open to change, to new possibilities. With that in mind I decided to read all the political pampflets this year instead of just voting for Sosialistisk Venstreparti (the Socialist Left party) as I always do.* And loh and behold, on my doorstep, as if by miracle (or because I moved in with the son of a rightwinged man) Høyre ("Right" as in as opposed to "Left", not as in "Correct") rang our doorbell with a pampflett. So I read it. With an open mind, I'd think.

But already on page one I was in trouble. You see, they said they'd put the country back on track by reducing taxes and increasing spending on schools and police. So if they're going to get less income, where are they taking the funds for the schools and police force from? It didn't say. That is what I'd like to know before I vote for somebody.

By voting for Socialist Left for instance, I know they want increased spending on public goods and that they will finance it through increased tax incomes. They're open about that and if you disagree with it, you vote for somebody else. But this "getting more while paying less"-attitude is bullshit, and I hope we all know it by now, after all Høyre has been in power several times before and so far it's always meant less money for something (like hospitals, schools and public transportation).



*For you non-natives, in Norway we have a variety of political parties, not just two big ones with tiny powerless ones on the side like in Great Britain or the US.
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( Mar. 17th, 2009 08:26 pm)
Today was a really nice day for me. Got up early, went to see my manuel therapist, worked out and got home to have an early lunch before heading off to the archives. In my fridge I found a sausage I'd been saving for a day when I really wanted sausage, so I fried it up with onions and ate it watching Heroes. What I forgot to check was how long I'd been saving it...

When I got to the archives, I started feeling ill and soon I had to borrow a plastic bag from [livejournal.com profile] aj_stalin just to be on the safe side in case of vomit. Luckily that didn't happen, but now I'm on the couch with a bucket next to me hoping the feeling will pass soon.

The sausage wasn't even that good...
Jeg har en venn som kommer til Norge for å være med på Knutepunkt og som har lyst til å se litt av landet i forbindelse med dette, men han har bare en eller to dager ekstra til å reise. Hvor burde han dra for å få sett sitat: "your beautiful fjords" og hvordan burde han reise for å få sett mest mulig for minst mulig penger?

All hjelp settes stor pris på!

Martine
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I have just eaten the most awesome thing ever:




That's right! I fried bacon, I put it in the oven with cheese and I rolled it up and ate it. Oh my dear God it was the single most awesome meal I've ever had. Now I'm full, and very happy.

(I might have differed from the recipe some. I used 150g bacon, 50g mozarella cheese and 30g of feta...but it was still pure awesome!)
( Mar. 11th, 2009 02:55 pm)
I think of myself as a relatively good person. Or, I feel I could at least adequately quote Mal from Firefly in his "Mercy is the sign of a great man, I guess I'm just a good man...well, I'm allright"-speech when it comes to my actions. I live relatively healthy, I try to be good to my friends and even to strangers I meet and I try to live responsibly and avoid undue stress to the environment because I do believe that we are causing a lot of trouble for ourselves by burning fossile fuels and pretty much attempting to ruin the world around us.

So here's where I fall off the wagon. Though I use public transportation and actually feel that it is the only sensible thing to do when living in Oslo where said public transportation is more than adequate and a lot cheaper than owning a car, I love driving.

I mean: I LOVE DRIVING!

I was going outside Oslo today to interview someone for my masters, and I borrowed [livejournal.com profile] 3ff3ct3r's car (which he hardly ever uses by the way) to save time and effort getting out there (changing busses takes a lot of time and it costs extra and I hate busses, my bad excuses are many). I can't explain it. From the moment I sat down behind the wheels, drove out of the garage and got out on the highway I was so happy, so content, so pleased with myself that I actually called [livejournal.com profile] aj_stalin hoping that she'd be in Asker so I'd have an excuse to drive just a little bit longer after my interview.

I don't care that I'd be part of the problem, breaking down the environment. I don't care that I can hardly afford food now since I'm a student. I don't care that I can in theory borrow the car more often (because I feel bad every time I do). I WANT A CAR.
( Mar. 6th, 2009 08:09 am)
How come when a band is consisting of only boys/men it's a band, but when it's made up of only girls/women it's a girl-band?

/rage
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( Mar. 3rd, 2009 05:11 pm)
Comment and, if you so desire, I will list 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

[livejournal.com profile] 3ff3ct3r gave me these:
1.Homosexuals
2.writing
3.sex
4.larping
5.clumsiness

it's all about me! me me me! )
( Feb. 27th, 2009 03:02 pm)
I just had a stupid revelation. Since I started looking at the back of packages of food to check if there’s milk in it, I’ve started noticing the nutritional facts, and every time it confused me to see that the amount of proteins, carbohydrates and fat does not add up to 100g. Today, I realized that that is because water also has weight.
I just cut myself on a button. That's right. A button. It's been bleeding for 15 minutes. I'm now admitting defeat and going out to buy band-aids.
Okay, so I just heard that Supernatural is back for yet another season. Is this really a reason to squee? I feel the show was brilliant for the first two season and the quality has been steadily dropping in the last two seasons. Maybe it's just me, but I think a show should have the guts to finish it's storyline and then end.
.

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