Some musings about new year's eve

This Christmas has been a time for the bitter-sweet feelings of suddenly realizing that you've grown up. The lights just aren't that shiny anymore, the gifts under the trees suddenly seem less interesting than spending time with your family around the dinner table, and for the first time in your life, you're not the youngest person, not the center of attention, and maybe, just maybe, that's all right too. But the problem with these feelings are that they're so often accompanied by the fear that nothing will ever be quite that shiny and new again. I look at the people around me, and I see a mess of conflicting feelings, trouble we never talk about because that would be awkward and uncomfortable, unrequited love, and relationships slowly breaking apart. And it all makes me feel like I've grown up, and the woman I grew into, and the world I grew up in, just wasn't as good as I wanted it to be.

And with those sentiments, I decided to go to the same new year's eve party I always go to, with the people closest to me, without expectations. Or, that's not true, I expected it to be slightly awkward since many of us have grown apart, and many of us have spent time abroad this year. But it wasn't.

Instead, it was one of the best new year's eve parties I've ever gone to. The awkwardness didn't happen, the people were nice, my dress was perfect and the food was awesome. The party lasted through the night to the next morning and most of us stayed to the bitter end. And though I know it was just another party, that the change from one year to the next is constructed to make us feel like there's a huge difference between December 31 and January 1 even though it's only really a day, I'm okay with that. I like the pretense. I like that we celebrate the end of one year and the (made up) hopes of a clean slate and new beginnings. Maybe one shouldn't be too quick in admitting to have grown up, if growing up means giving up on your ideas of a fresh start tomorrow?

And a new year's meme

The first of the year, what do you know. (I'm bored and supposed to be packing for my weekend trip).

From What Privileges Do You Have?, based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.

Bold the true statements.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.
9. Were read children's books by a parent.
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18.
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels.
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18.
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child.
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house.
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.
25. You had your own room as a child
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18.
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course.
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school.
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college.
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.
31. Went on a cruise with your family.
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.