martinemonster (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
martinemonster) wrote2007-04-25 02:27 pm
martinemonster) wrote2007-04-25 02:27 pm
Entry tags:
I fell off the wagon!
We have a substitute for the other secretary at work now, and she asked me very nicely if I could go out and share her cigarette breaks with her since it's boring to stand outside alone. I, understanding this of course, said yes and have stood there, by her side madly wanting cigarettes but keeping myself from asking for them. Until today. Now I've had a whole cigarette to myself and oh my god they are so wonderful! I don't want to give them up, health be damned! I love cigarettes! Crap!
Badness: my resolve is quickly disappearing. I've forgotten all my reasons to quit smoking.
Goodness: I smoked an entire cigarette and didn't cough once! That must mean I'm getting better for my cold.
What should I do? Tell me the reasons to give up these lovely cigarettes or I fear I cannot go on without them...
This icon is called bsg
Badness: my resolve is quickly disappearing. I've forgotten all my reasons to quit smoking.
Goodness: I smoked an entire cigarette and didn't cough once! That must mean I'm getting better for my cold.
What should I do? Tell me the reasons to give up these lovely cigarettes or I fear I cannot go on without them...
This icon is called bsg
Reasons not to smoke:
2. Your clothes 'll smell like shit. Then again, share a flat with a smoker and you'll get the same thing. Cheaper though.
3. You'll never, ever, even if you manage to claw your way a bit farther from deaths door start exercising. You'll try it once, realize that the cigarettes have stolen what little stamina you had, and give up.
4. The smoke police, the "most elite and brutal enviromental death squad in the world", which everyone know is allready operating with govermental funding, will target you. It might not happen before 2012, but it still makes smoking the most dangerous activity known to man.
5. If you are one of those hippie vegetarians (or vegetarian wannabes) complaining that Good Meat is bad because it uses up much more area pr. energy unit than Boring Vegetables, you could argue that smoking is a lot worse, seing as use a lot of area providing no edible energy.
6. Liqorice. After chocolate, the most holy of substances, is largely squandered and abused as tobbaco flavouring instead of as Good and Proper Sweets.
7. You are supporting one or more Evil Corporations.
8. Your teeth will grow yellow and fall off.
9. Your skin will wrinkle prematurely and turn gray.
10. Research shows that smokers are 37.9% more likely to get abducted and impregnated by malevolent alien species.
11. No one will like you. You'll turn into a sad and lonely person, and die alone.
12. My prognoses shows that the dosage of mind control drugs currently used in common cigarette brands will be multiplied by a factor of at least 42 in the coming years as the Evil Corporations will get more and more desperate to keep their customers. This will lead to massive zombification of the worlds populace, and you'll be missing out on the fun of slaughtering your zombiefied neighbhors with wathever household appliances you'd prefer, and instead have to walk really slow murmuring something about wanting to dine on grains or strains or something.
13. I'm skipping this one for luck.
14. Your doctor will stop trying to diagnose you if you'll have to visit him, instead just telling you: "Stop smoking, take do aspirins, and call me tomorrow".
15. You'll prove to yourself and everyone else that you are weak. Weak, you hear!
Hmm. Yup.
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Also, i usually beg strangers to buy me alcohol, so I rarely spend that much on it.
And alcohol just make me less coherent and a bit violent. Smoking would make me ugly.
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