Nice visit

[martinemonster]

aj_stalin came by today and we had great fun. We made pancakes and watched a porno called "The Plant", which, even though it was a slow starter, eventually turned out to be just as hilarious as expected.


It was about a young woman with no friends or family outside work, struggling to be taken seriously by her bosses in the environmentalist something agency. The boss is a guy who, truth be told, looks more like an 18teen year old boy with a heavy case of dark prince envy than a boss, and has about that much acting talent. Too bad this movie decided to have a plot. On the DVD jacket it says that this lovely woman whatsherface gets told to check out a factory and make sure that nothing bad happens there. When she gets there she gets fucked by an evil alien species, because the military are trying to make super soliders and need someone the plant can fuck. This lovely plot twist is unfortunately late in coming, and instead we have to watch about 20 minutes of her boss and the boss's friend tying up and raping the girl after the boss puts what at first seems to be a sleeping powder or maybe a date-rape drug in the poor girl's coffee. When she drinks it it becomes quite obvious that it was in fact none of the two, but instead something which makes her violently ill with stomach cramps. Apparently that is supposed to be sexy, cause her boss and his friend have no problem with taking this violently ill girl, tying her up and putting weird things into her, taping a tube into her mouth and pouring water down her throat and so on. The poor girl then wakes up in her office and believes it to be a dream.

Then, finally, she drives to the factory, where there are a lot of boxes and what looks like a flower made out of children's putty. Out of it comes a penis that ejaculates into her mouth, something which makes her compliant enough that she faints. THen comes the fun part: fake plastic ivy leaves comes out from the boxes, and behind the boxes a guy stands with a bunch of three branches and shakes them periodically. A long scene of sensual plant-fucking later, the boss has a really oogie scene with the girl where he first tells her the entire plot (so that we can understand it, the delivery was good enough that he wouldn't even be accepted on the cast for days of our lives) and then decides to torture her with nipple torture and electro shocks. Luckily the female cast had a bit more acting experience than her male counterpart, but still it was nice to know that they weren't really hurting her.

A lot more scenes of plant fucking, then torture, then plant fucking later she finally has a chance to talk to the plant, who's name apparently is Talmod or Tarant or something, and who really seems to be a nice guy, for a shivery branch. He is surprised and sorry to hear that he is to big for our lovely heroine, and promises to help her get out. Our resident bad guy, the dim-witted boss, comes in and when our friend the branch says that he has to let our heroine go, he promises to "kick the creature's ass". After a very unimpressive fight which lasts for about thirty seconds, the branch kills the boss, the heroine says she'll never forget the branch, she runs off and the movie ends. All is well that ends well.


My only problem was that after the movie, my boyfriend called and we got into a big conversation on apartments, and when I was done everybody had gone to bed and I was the only one awake... Now I feel like a bastard who was really unsocial...(and I know you're going to read this aina and marthe, so please please don't hate me for my unsocialness...)

Night night all!