( Jun. 6th, 2009 05:23 pm)
So far I haven't had the time/energy to post anything here, or to add a userpic or to do much of anything really, but I promise if you guys stick with me I'll get the hang of it soon!

News:

I just quit my job. I'll be working here till the end of July and then that's it.

(this is posted both here at dreamwidth and at lj. I finally figured out how to do that)
And now I've gotten a cold. I'm snifling around in my apartment feeling sorry for myself with a tummy bloated up to a faux 3-months pregnancy due to the cheesecake I had yesterday, so worth it a headache, general tiredness and a sore troath. So unfair!

(the smart thing would probably be to take today off so I'd be bored out of my mind by tomorrow and therefore probably more inclined to study, but I'm forcefeeding myself Scale and Scope - the dynamics of industrial capitalism" instead. I figure I can probably get through a bunch of pages even though I'm all mushy on the inside. Wish me luck!)
I've been studying for enough years now to know my habits pretty well. When exams are approching and it's time for crunch, first my flight or fight instinct kicks in and I start dreaming of going to far off places; bicycling to India, jumping on a plane without checking the destination, you get the picture. This year, I offset this by deciding to go with my parents to New York in the fall.

The trouble with me, however, is that when I offset the need to be elsewhere by actually planning something, my brain instantly switches over to procrastrination mode and starts looking for a project. This can only be offset by there not being any viable projects that I actually want to do.

One such easily countered potential project was the reorganizing of my wardrobe. It entails moving the shelves and is basically deemed too much trouble. Therefore I could go back to reading. But then I looked out on my terrasse. It was basically undecorated, with old, white patio furniture which showed signs of aging. And I know it couldn't be that much trouble to buy new furniture and, more importantly, the reward this project would be clearly visible and almost instant. My brain started bubbling with ideas. And the minute that happens, it's too late. Nomatter how much I try to focus on my curriculum after that point, it just can't be done. So yesterday, I re-furnished my terrasse.

pictures! )

You are all invited to see it in person of course. I promise it's awesome!
( May. 12th, 2009 11:02 am)
Do you know that feeling of shame mixed with pleasure you get when you satisfy an urge you know is wrong? I'm not talking about your secret pleasure for biting your nails, I mean that hardcore bad stuff like bestiality, scat or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang the musical? I imagine that people who have these urges but refuse to satisfy them for reasons unknown, might get dreams where they take part in their favorite vice and then get deeply shamed afterwards.

Speaking of, last night I had a dream that I was just going to throw away the leftovers of a giant chocolate cake (basically looking like the cake in Mathilda). I figured I'd just take a small bite of it, and then I couldn't stop and ate the whole thing. I felt immensely, almost sexually, satisfied before realizing that what I did had been wrong and I woke up with a feeling of deep shame and guilt. It took me about 5 minutes to figure out why I was feeling so bad.
( May. 3rd, 2009 09:48 pm)
It seems like people are getting married all over the place this summer, and I've yet to get invited to anything barring a drunken invitation to the wedding of a guy I once fucked, but until I see that invitation in writing, I'm not counting on it. It makes me feel a bit cheated. So if you're getting married, won't you invite me? I promise not to get uncharmingly drunk and barf on the cake, and I will bring a present and wear a pretty dress.
( May. 3rd, 2009 12:17 pm)
When I got out of bed this morning, my hair looked wonderful. It was slightly curly, very big and looked as if I'd spent about an hour fixing it. So I decided to just leave it like that for the rest of the day and chose clothes to match my awesome hairdo.

By the time I reached work, my hair had fallen down, no more curls. Now it just looks like I'm a filthy hippie who don't believe in brushes...

Doh!
( Apr. 30th, 2009 08:03 am)
It's eight o'clock over here in Norway and I'm already up and studying. This would so not have happened during winter, but now that spring is here with sun and light mornings I feel like I've slept in if I sleep till 7.30. Okay, so I'm not dressed and I haven't had my coffee yet, but I am reading this blasted file I'll have to return by 10.30.

Have a lovely day everyone!
I've only just unpacked my bags from the larpconvention I attend almost every year and now I'm packing again. This time to go to Bologna with my mom. We usually take a trip together every other year and this time we decided it'd be to a place with a bit more sun and heat than Norway (even though we're not complaining about the spring weather here, after all it is pretty awesome as well). In my head I'm already drinking coffee at a small sidewalk cafe and writing on my laptop. Which I think I'll bring. I didn't bring it to the convention and I bitterly regretted it, and I think I feel inspiration calling (or it could be the wine, I never can tell) so I might actually get some writing done even though it's my vacation.

So this is it folks *waves* See you next week!
I'm oddly tired today. I woke up well-rested and ready for a day of selling porn, but as I was frying bacon for breakfast I started noticing that something was off. It started with the bacon. I couldn't pry the slices apart and I got really angry and desperate. After about a minute I was ready to believe I wouldn't be able to make eggs and bacon and actually have time to eat it before I had to leave for work (enter the hero [livejournal.com profile] 3ff3ct3r who reminded me that I had coffee, saved the bacon, kissed me and made fried onions).

I felt better after I got to work and opened the store, but every time I actually try to do something (like sorting through the mess left for me behind the counter) I get incredibly annoyed and give up before I even start. I figured coffee would help so I closed the store for 5 minutes to run and get some, but so far the only result of that has been that I burned my lip trying to drink it and immediately started to feel like I can't do anything right.

I wish I could just go work out and then sit at a café for the rest of the day.
Every time I'm on the treadmill or the eliptical thingie I feel like shit. Usually I'm bored to tears after about 2.5minutes and I feel like a complete failure with no stamina, sweating all over the place. So, today, instead of listening to music, I decided to watch television (since our gym caters to lazy asses like myself and therefore provides entertainment for your workouts). So I watched a program called "The world's biggest loser" or something like that, about two teams of overweight women fighting to lose the most weight in a set amount of time.

It was perfect. There I was, sweating my ass off, but at least I know I'm able to run and have quit smoking unlike those poor losers who were getting excellent advice and still weren't able to pull off any major weightloss. I looked at those women crying on the tv screen and I immediately felt better about me. In Norway we have a saying: Egen lykke er bra, men andres ulykke er heller ikke å forakte (rougly translated: Your own happiness is good, but the misfortune of others should not be scorned either). I live by that saying.
( Mar. 17th, 2009 08:26 pm)
Today was a really nice day for me. Got up early, went to see my manuel therapist, worked out and got home to have an early lunch before heading off to the archives. In my fridge I found a sausage I'd been saving for a day when I really wanted sausage, so I fried it up with onions and ate it watching Heroes. What I forgot to check was how long I'd been saving it...

When I got to the archives, I started feeling ill and soon I had to borrow a plastic bag from [livejournal.com profile] aj_stalin just to be on the safe side in case of vomit. Luckily that didn't happen, but now I'm on the couch with a bucket next to me hoping the feeling will pass soon.

The sausage wasn't even that good...
( Mar. 11th, 2009 02:55 pm)
I think of myself as a relatively good person. Or, I feel I could at least adequately quote Mal from Firefly in his "Mercy is the sign of a great man, I guess I'm just a good man...well, I'm allright"-speech when it comes to my actions. I live relatively healthy, I try to be good to my friends and even to strangers I meet and I try to live responsibly and avoid undue stress to the environment because I do believe that we are causing a lot of trouble for ourselves by burning fossile fuels and pretty much attempting to ruin the world around us.

So here's where I fall off the wagon. Though I use public transportation and actually feel that it is the only sensible thing to do when living in Oslo where said public transportation is more than adequate and a lot cheaper than owning a car, I love driving.

I mean: I LOVE DRIVING!

I was going outside Oslo today to interview someone for my masters, and I borrowed [livejournal.com profile] 3ff3ct3r's car (which he hardly ever uses by the way) to save time and effort getting out there (changing busses takes a lot of time and it costs extra and I hate busses, my bad excuses are many). I can't explain it. From the moment I sat down behind the wheels, drove out of the garage and got out on the highway I was so happy, so content, so pleased with myself that I actually called [livejournal.com profile] aj_stalin hoping that she'd be in Asker so I'd have an excuse to drive just a little bit longer after my interview.

I don't care that I'd be part of the problem, breaking down the environment. I don't care that I can hardly afford food now since I'm a student. I don't care that I can in theory borrow the car more often (because I feel bad every time I do). I WANT A CAR.
( Mar. 3rd, 2009 05:11 pm)
Comment and, if you so desire, I will list 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

[livejournal.com profile] 3ff3ct3r gave me these:
1.Homosexuals
2.writing
3.sex
4.larping
5.clumsiness

it's all about me! me me me! )
( Feb. 27th, 2009 03:02 pm)
I just had a stupid revelation. Since I started looking at the back of packages of food to check if there’s milk in it, I’ve started noticing the nutritional facts, and every time it confused me to see that the amount of proteins, carbohydrates and fat does not add up to 100g. Today, I realized that that is because water also has weight.
I just cut myself on a button. That's right. A button. It's been bleeding for 15 minutes. I'm now admitting defeat and going out to buy band-aids.
( Feb. 25th, 2009 02:59 pm)
I think the reason that grown-ups are lazy is that kids are told not to run by their parents and teachers. Today, two kids came with their father to the clinic. While he was getting treated, they had a 20-30minutes competition to see who could run fastest in the back of our clinic. Forth and back, forth and back. It's a long time since I've seen anybody that happy. Of course, their dad berated them when he was done with his treatment for making too much noise and I felt kinda sad.

As I was on my way to my appointment at the hairdresser's later in the day, I realized that I was late and decided to run instead of walk to the place (it's down the hall from the clinic). It was exhilerating! Of course I had to ignore angry stares from every single patient I passed on the way, but I did and just kept on smiling. See, if I hadn't been constantly told not to run in the halls or in the store when I was a kid, I might have the lung capasity of a normal human being, and not an 80-year-old chain smoker.
( Feb. 19th, 2009 10:04 pm)
I know I'm a fullblooded Norwegian. I know this because my cousin once did some digging into our family tree and found out that the most experimental our ever-so-caucasian lineage had tried to mix with was people from Sandefjord (a town about 2 hours away from Oslo). We don't know anything about my mother's side of the family, but I think one could safely assume that if there was a Norwegian in the room with some Viking lineage, it would be me.

Usually, I try to live up to that strong, female ideal by stoically taking whatever is thrown at me (or by me, or stumbled over, who said that Vikings were dextrous?) and never backing down from a challenge. But sometimes something new happens that questions my assumed vikingesque mannerism.

I've lived in Oslo for 6 years now, and I had never been in Korketrekkeren, a 7 subway stops hill one can slide down. So me and Margrethe decide that it was time (she had never gone either) and we got our asses on that subway. The sliding was fun, I would even go as far as to say that it was pretty amazing. The best part of Korketrekkeren is that you slide all the way down, and then take the subway up again, over and over until you can't go anymore. Which it turned out was not a lot of times for me.

You see, I had figured that even though I didn't own anything that would keep water out, I'd be fine if I just wore an impressive amount of clothes on top of eachother. What I didn't take into consideration was that the subway ride would melt all the snow that covered me (from sliding, not from falling...I only fell twice and only one of them was a real slap-stick moment) thus leaving me shivering and cold and wet to the bone before going back out into the 2 degrees (that's -17 degrees celcius) to continue the fun. By the time I got home my lips were literally blue and my boyfriend had to spend an hour helping me get warm enough to stop shivering in my fairly well temperatured apartment.

Now, I cannot help but think that Vikings would know how to dress for these occations, or, barring that, at least not get completely sick for the following 3 days. Maybe it's true what my dad has claimed for years, that my mom is actually of non-viking decent since she gets tanned so easily in the summer...
( Feb. 9th, 2009 10:02 pm)
This was a very good day. I got up at 7am and went training. Then I got treated by my chirpractor before going to the Parliamentary archives and working till 4. After that I got together with Margrethe and we went weightlifting and then celebrated our greatness by knocking back some beers. And for dinner I had steak.

As I said; very good day.
I have a deadline for a 5 pages article tomorrow morning, so I´m trying to finish up now. It´s a drag.

But do you know what´s more of a drag? Realizing that yet another one of my childhood buddies have gotten engaged, gotten children (yes, plural), a full-time job doing what she wants to do with her life, a house and a dog.

I´m not sure if I should feel old or unaccomplished? Somehow I manage to do both.
( Jan. 20th, 2009 11:38 am)
I feel like every time I attempt to say that something is going well, something will happen to fuck it up. Today, that something is my brain. My brain has suddenly decided to stop wanting to help me get prepared for my meeting on Thursday. I know I can´t prepare tomorrow and that my only chance not to make a fool of myself is to go through a lot of background material today, but I can´t seem to focus. Instead, my brain is making all these attempts to not only get out of re-reading the Norwegian history of development aid, but it´s also attempting to get me to skip martial arts, telling me that it would be so much more comfy just to stay home. I can even skip my first lecture this year, it tells me.

Why, brain? What do you want from me?
.

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