I’ve been reading backwards in my blog, tagging old entries, when I came over this one. I love the fact that in the time I’ve had this journal, I haven’t changed a bit. Come on, read this entry, I dare you!


I also found that I miss my old job. I mean, all the absurd things that happened to me, they were great. (read some of the oldest entries tagged work. I promise they’re funny). Actually, I love myself. (Yeah, that’s right, modesty is not my thing) I sit here at work (exactly sick enough that any form of work seems difficult and time consuming) reading and tagging, and cracking up remembering all the fun stuff I used to do. I like my journal. Also, it seems that what I’ve been doing most of in my journal this past year-and-a-half is doing memes. Of course that means it’s time to re-do some of them!

Now I’ve gone through enormous amounts of old posts, and have figured out that I’ll probably never finish this project. There’s 180 entries left to tag before I’m done. No, I’ll probably never finish.

”meme” )
( Aug. 20th, 2006 02:30 pm)
Sorry I've been totally off this summer, but I'm back now. Staying in Oslo, rocking it at Aina's.

Eva! I'm gonna miss you so much. Have lots of fun in Trondheim, and let me know when you're ready to have visitors...

The rest of you guys. I wanna play with you so let's meet up? My cell will start working officially tomorrow.

Marthe: what's Håkon's username. I'm gonna stalk him.
( Jun. 24th, 2006 03:48 pm)
The difference from this year and last year is striking. It didn't really hit me before today though. I realize that I've been a little more stressed out this year (working 7 days a week with no time off will do that to you), but today is the gay pride parade. Last year I was all dressed up with butterfly-wings flirting and making out with a beautiful girl on a float in front of the entire population of Oslo, I met Gandalf (you know, the gay actor who played him, Ian whatshisname) and the night ended in lovely sex. This year I'm at work listening to the parade going by outside, I can't open my mouth because it hurts too much and I'm eating the worlds largest piece of pastry to try to make myself feel better. Going to get drunk to drown my sorrows tonight.

Two days till Cuba...
( Jun. 24th, 2006 01:04 pm)
I keep forgetting how much I hate going to the dentist. Then I come there, thinking that I don't remember getting rid of holes to be that bad, and then realize that thats because I repress it. Oh my god how horrible it is! Gah! And now my tongue tickles when I drink water and my mouth hurts. Every time she started drilling in my mouth I started shivering all over and kept gripping the chair as if that would save me from the pain. She felt sorry for me, but then again, she must like to hurt people. Otherwise what would be the reason to become a dentist.

In fact, a good question is: what reasons would someone have to become a dentist? I can think of only the obvious one: the desire to see people helpless and in pain. But my dentist is so nice and seems like she feels for me every time I grip the chair and starts shivering. What do you think?
( Jun. 15th, 2006 12:42 pm)
So, I've finally watched "True Romance" and, as always, I'm a sucker for happy endings. Cocaine flying through the air like a fall of snow in april, our heroes running out past all the cops with the cash to live happily ever after, getting only slightly shot on the way. I loved it.

The house feels empty though. I just realized that I've fallen in love with living with [livejournal.com profile] 45_hasle and [livejournal.com profile] mirazandar and now that they've both gone it feels empty even though both me and [livejournal.com profile] akselwestlund are there. I'll miss living with you guys next year!

On a different note I hate going to the doctors. No matter how sick I get I never get any of the usual deceases, you know, the ones where there's treatment. I always get the vague illnesses that the doctors always think is stress related even when I keep assuring them that I am not stressed. This time nobody said stress related. Instead I've spent 3 hours in doctor's offices the last two days so they could tell me: "it's a virus and it will pass. There is nothing we can do. It should be gone in four weeks." Blargh! I tire of doctors. Isn't the point of western medicine that they give you pills and things go away? That was why I liked western medicine. Now if they're not careful, I'll start with eastern medicine instead. What is eastern medicine exactly? I've always wondered...
( May. 28th, 2006 11:35 pm)
So, my life officially sucks. I was on my way home from a lovely game of warhammer the rpg today, and lost my purse. Yes, it's stolen. I've closed my visa and cell phone, but that still means that somebody took my: purse, the visas to Cuba for me and my dad, all my cash, my visa card, my wallet, my bus card, my student id, my semester-card, my drivers license, my cigarettes (and god, was that ever bugging me as I walked home with no money and no phone), my keys and the enterence card to my apartment. That's everything I have except my pass port right there. [livejournal.com profile] 45_hasle was kind enough to lend me 200kr so that I'll get down to the police station tomorrow to report it stolen before I have my exam, but that still means that I'll have to show up to get my exam without my student id. And that could be a problem.

My dad tried to make me feel better by putting it in perspective, as he claimed, but what that really meant was that he told me that my favourite grown up friend/uncle/fellow city council member was not in fact cured from cancer. Instead it had moved into his lungs and he has to start chemo therapy. Now, I know this is selfish, but how is that supposed to make me feel better? Couldn't he wait to tell me till after my exam? I'm starting to feel that I should never have an exam again. After all last time my great aunt died, and this time John gets cancer, again. Maybe if I just stop having exams everyone around me will stop dying or getting mortally ill? I hope he gets better. I so hope he gets better. I can't stand it if he dies. He looked so well last time I saw him, and now he's all sick again? That's just wrong. I mean, there's only so many operations a guy should have to have before he's well again right? I want him to be okay.
( May. 23rd, 2006 03:35 am)
I don't like when things end. Today I handed in my bachelor essay, meaning that I have only one week of school left. Ever. (or, I'll probably take a masters next year, but first I'll be gone for a whole year and everything). Everything I do makes me feel like I'm doing it for the last time, and I've already started planning how to pack my way out of my apartment. Everybody's leaving, me too, but it's still sad. I've had some of the best years of my life in this town/university/apartment, and giving it all up is scary and bittersweet. Part of me wishes it could go on forever, and another part of me looks forward to moving on. I mean, next year, working in Leeds, hanging out with a well-earned vacation from studying will be great, I know it. And we've already found the most perfect house. :)

Also: I now have my very own degree! Go me!
1. Who was your first crush? 2. Favourite book when you were about 10-12?
3. Were you afraid of the dark as a kid 4. And if so. What was you afraid
of? 5. Superpower of choice. You choose.

1. Samira. She's still the prettiest girl I know in the entire world, she had long black hair, kinda wavey, and large brown eyes. And she was a year older than me, and we played at least twice a week. I so wished she'd be my girlfriend, but I never asked...

2. 1984 and The lord of the rings. It was a tie.

3. Yes

4. I was afraid of evil shadows. When the light was on I could see them coming, but if the light was off they could just jump me at any second.

5. I want to be able to fly. Major dream since I was a kid.
( Apr. 24th, 2006 11:47 am)
Next year's vacation has become the only thing I look forward to. I'm staring at the screen not knowing what to write...still. I just realized that I've turned into one of my rpg characters (except that she's thinner than me, probably because she doesn't know how to cook to save her life). Her final semester she fucked everything up, got a major writer's block that she couldn't get rid off and ended up getting bad grades. That's how I feel now. I've never had writer's block like this before. I'm totally lost. Maybe I'll have to go to the US, buy myself a pick-up truck and start roaming the countryside too?
( Apr. 11th, 2006 06:23 pm)
Yesterday was the first day of my selfinflicted easter vacation. Parts of me go insane from not doing school work. I get stressed from relaxing, and keep smoking my cigarettes at double speed, leading to dizzyness and a general uncomfortableness. It always takes me approximately two days to convince myself that I don't have anything to do and that it is okay to sit out in the sun for two hours drinking beer. Speaking of which, yesterday was officially the first spring day since I went out and had "utepils" beer drunk in the sun outside a pub. And sweet it was! :)

Speaking of sweet, I get a lot less stressed from work when there is actually something to do. Today I have reorganized the basement/storage room. Making sure everything is in the right place whilst singing all alone, just me and the sex toys. I now have peace of mind... ;)

I stole this from [livejournal.com profile] mirazandar

it's all about me, me me me! )
I am so fed up with staring at this computer. It feels like todays big accomplishment so far is spilling ashes onto my keyboard. I keep sitting down to write my biggest historical work so far, and instead end up writing endless mails to people. No, wait, I just made todays great accomplishment: I swallowed ashes from my sigaret butts. Thank you world. My nose is running.

I hate writers block. I'm now sure: I need a break. Half a year away should do it. Does any of you guys know what to do if you want to take half a year's break from studying, but don't want to have to make down payments on your student loan?
( Jan. 28th, 2006 01:21 am)
This has been one of the nicest evenings this year. I did schoolwork till about 9pm and then I made food and watched movies the rest of the evening. In silence. The only problem is that I just finished watching Gattica and I always get soppy when Jude Law locks himself in the furnace and gets incinerated. So now I'm all sad and I've got no one to talk to. But I guess its okay...
( Nov. 30th, 2005 11:16 am)
You remember how I said "I wonder what happens next" in my last post, well today I woke up to a kitchen inspection, the 7th this semester (I think). This is bordering on harrassment. I'm seriously considering trying to find somewhere else to live. Also, they should respect that exams takes pri over cleaning. But nooo...so now we have to magically clean the entire apartment, including behind the stowe (which we did a month ago, and the month before that, and the month before that...) whilst trying to practice and write exams. I hate SIO.
( Nov. 12th, 2005 12:46 pm)
Yesterday I realized that my friends are moving into a new phase in life. I was invited home to Eivind and Siljes new apartment. They've moved in together, and suddenly, instead of being invited to a party, I was invited over for a sip of wine and conversation. Soon we will have dinner parties and be invited in couples rather than as single entities of human beings (as in Eivind-and-silje, Sanja-and-Mikael, Elisabeth-and-Arne). Its not that I don't like the idea of slow parties with lots of conversation, I just feel like it's been pushed into my life quite suddenly, even though I know its taken a while. Sorta like when you notice gaining weight, but think its not a lot until one day you look in the mirror and see that you've gained 20pounds.
( Oct. 8th, 2005 05:17 pm)
I always wonder how people can stand living in 24/7 S/M-relationships. I keep thinking that I could never manage to focus on school, work, politics +++ if I also had to make sure that I did nothing to displease my master/mistress at all times. I mean, that must be immensely timeconsuming. Also the other way around, how do you manage to never just be sweet and fun, but always in charge of another person? I like my relationships to be kinda equal.

Not to mention that if you're in a 24/7 relationship you might have to visit a sex-shop and ask to wash their bathroom because your mistress tells you to, as I had a lovely episode of today. What kind of people think it is okay to invite other people into their relationships? It is embarrassing and annoying for the rest of us, who have to deal with really embarrassed people asking us to be part of their sex-life. No thank you!
( Sep. 20th, 2005 11:34 am)
Finally the day came and my lovely aksel came home. It was not awkward but real nice, and even though we didn't have a lot of time together, the time we did have was spent well (snuggles, kisses and sex).

I've always wanted to be associated with radicals, but I always feel like I'm playing dress-up and trying to enter a social circle that's not my own. However, I do not give up. Tonight I'm trying again. I will go to a concert at Blitz. I'm actually really excited cause I think it will be real fun, however I'm afraid that my dress is incorrect and that everybody will think I'm old. But I prevail, and try to tell myself that it's not the case.
I'm finishing off work in approximately one hour, and will leave for my larp "enhetsfront" (www.collective-larp.tk). I hope the rest of the people have finished stashing the place up with nice things so that when I come, it'll be all but done...and I'm a little afraid that it won't be.

My butterflies turn into large bats when I think of my boyfriend. He'll be coming tomorrow afternoon, and I can't wait to see him...I'm afraid that something bad will happen, that he won't make his flight, that he'll see me and think: this woman can't live up to the idea I've made of her in my mind, or that I'll think it, that I'll have an empty feeling in my tummy when I see him, that we'll start arguing, and so forth and so on... I'm so scared, and so excited. I want him to go insane with lust when he sees me, and I desperately don't want to have my period when he gets here. Here's to hoping...
( Aug. 28th, 2005 05:16 pm)
I have now said goodbye to my lovely boyfriend, Aksel, who is going to Leeds for three years. After living together the entire summer being all alone in my apartment is really quite difficult. Come home Marthe!

I have this empty feeling inside, like I know I should be sad, and I am, but it has failed to register in my brain. Thus I sit here, doing nothing for long moments till I can't stand it anymore, and then getting up to do something, anything. I've just finished cleaning the kitchen, and now I'm sitting again. At least I didn't cry when he left, I want him to remember me smiling, not crying. (Aksel: I miss you already!)

Sympathy-beer would be good right now...
It never seizes to amaze me how much stock I put into other people's opinion of me. An entire day can feel better just because a person told me my article for an in-larp newspaper was fantastic (still get a fuzzy feeling inside just from writing it down). Suddenly the fact that my house looks like its been robbed by someone looking for a magic rock and thus ripping my house to pieces in the process, the fact that I arrived at work an hour late, the fact that today's style looks like a mix between a 40yrs old mom and a fashion-geek, doesn't seem very important since someone told me I write fantastic...someone could call it sad, I choose to call it charming...

On a different note I'm making a 1887 dress in a lovely white flowered cotton fabric. I hate it. It is absolutely impossible to work with, and my days are spent at work, with evenings trying to fit the dress on me, with help from my lovely boyfriend, but it still doesn't work. BUT: yesterday the arms were fitted, and today I'm starting on the skirts, and soon it will be done...I'll be sure to post pictures before I burn the dress...It will be dead and I will be happy...




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