Do you know what will wake you up in the morning if you're really tired? Going to the dentist and having him poke in your mouth with sharp objects. OMG that's a bad way to start the day. I was all shivery and in need of cigarettes after (but since I quit, and didn't even have the money to pay said dentist who had to print out a bill for me and let me pay later, I couldn't have any sucks).

But at least I was awake, right? So writing the rest of my lecture should be easy compared to being poked with sharp objects? Wrong. Still unfocused. Still going nowhere. I've written a long introduction, a longer historical back drop and a very, some might say ridiculously, short main part. 2 days to go...

In other news, I don't think I'm going to pay for my lj next year. So I'm saying goodbye to all my sweet sweet icons and will go back to the ad based 15 icons instead. Quality before quantity apparently...
( Nov. 6th, 2007 12:53 am)
Today I went to a full day seminar where we killed each others babies. That means we all took our time going through each others project papers and telling each other all the mistakes. I thought it got a bit mean, but on the other hand, I got a lot to work with. I guess my problem is that I, somewhere deep inside, just wanted the people to say: "It's great. There's absolutely nothing else you need to do. Hand it in right now. It's perfect." And when what they said was more along the lines of: "I don't get what you mean here. It's too big. This sentence is wrong. I think your thesis is wrong," it was kinda difficult. Good for my end result, bad for my self esteem. But the people were nice, and it was really helpful.

Afterwards, me, Eivind and Silje went to a debate about the male gender and it's place in today's society. It was really interesting, and very provocative, and I actually dared voice my opinion and ask a question in front of everyone. It was nice. Also, I joined Kultur Utvalget (the cultural group? a student group that organizes debates and stuff). I think it will be nice.

Good day.

This icon is called "tre n√łtter til askepott" It only makes sense if you're norwegian I think.
( Nov. 5th, 2007 01:32 am)
I've realized what my problem is: I need a new image.

I have a tendency to create an image, or a persona, for myself. I then try to live up to that image and the extent to which I succeed in this determines how happy I am and how pleased I am with myself. Yeah, I know, it's probably not healthy or good, but it's what I've been doing for so long. For a good long time now, I've been the successful-young-woman-with-big-goals. The go-getter. The person who manages to juggle jobs and school and organizations and everything and still look great doing it 'cause as you all know; smoking, drinking and wearing pants suits makes everyone look extra hot. Then, I stopped managing to juggle everything, but I didn't manage to change the image. And that's where my problems started. My go-getter persona had a boyfriend, a job, an interesting field of study, a couple of organizations and a schedule to work out every once in a while. But the person I became had very little of that.

So I tried another image on for size. The young-working-sporty-woman-who-cares-about-girly-stuff, the sporty one It sorta worked. I tried (and failed) to quit smoking, started working out and buying shoes, and generally enjoyed the pleasure of doing a meaningless job for money. But then I managed to start smoking again, and I got terribly sick for 5 month which basically fucked up my plans to be a good worker and a sporty person. And to be completely honest, I didn't really like the sporty version anyways. I just wanted to lose weight.

When I went to America, I became the back-packer. Ready to leave everything behind at the drop of a hat, wild and maybe a little bit crazy, driving across a country larger in size than Europe. Able to do anything. And I sorta fell in love with that persona. Part of me wanted to keep working, saving up money so I could continue traveling. Free of care I could go anywhere in the world, anytime, and be happy.

But somehow, when I moved back to Norway, the old version, the go-getter, snuck back in. And suddenly, I'm trying to find stuff to do outside of school so I won't seem like a slacker. Even though I'm not really a slacker. I read and do a lot of school work, in addition to making two larps at once. And I have a social life. When I came back I decided this should be enough, since doing too much makes me stressed and unhappy, but I keep looking for more, feeling inadequate because I'm doing so little.

So I need a new image. Something that will allow me to be happy with what I'm doing right now, and happy with myself while I'm doing it. Any ideas? Preferably it should have a nice catch-phrase and be able to hold it's own against the go-getter, a persona I'm used to and have managed to somehow put on default mode.

This icon is called "tinkerbell". I like her. I actually got my very first novelty mug from [ profile] grimgram with her face on it. It's awesome.
This week I've been totally busy with the sort of things people normally consider relaxing. Like going to the movies with my brother, or hanging out with people. Going to parties. And it's been really nice. Except, my lovely [ profile] aj_stalin can't leave the house. As you've probably all figured out I'm slightly addicted to her so when I have lots of plans they usually involve her. Now, however, I'm suddenly spending a lot of time away from her. Withdrawl is a terrible thing!

This is for you aj!

Also, happy halloween everyone! Little kids came to the door yesterday and smiled dressed like witches. This is a holiday I'm glad we imported from the US! *hearts halloween*

This icon is called "starbuck" and it's one of my personal favourites.

So, did I mention to you guys that I was going to Istanbul, but had to skip the trip (paying a 200 dollar penalty fee for skipping it) to be here today to present my first draft of my project? Well, I did, and it burned a hole through my wallet so big that I can't actually eat this month. But hey, I thought, at least I will prove to the teacher (who have so far hardly seen me in class) that I show up for the important stuff and have a great project. But no. He didn't show up. His kids were sick and he had to stay home. I could have gone to Istanbul! That's right world. 1-0 to you.

Then, something weird must have happened to my arm. As I'm sure I've mention at least a thousand times, I have carpal (spelling someone?) tunnel. Well, now it hurts enough that I had to brush my teeth with the wrong hand, which is just annoying. Especially since it turns out; I have to hand in my second draft today! In the battle of the world versus me, the world is now up 2 points.

Then again, I managed to get pretty good comments out of the people who actually showed up for the class, as well as scrape myself an extra day to finish my second draft. And this weekend was awesome, so I guess I'll award myself one point for that. 2-1 in the battle of the world versus me.

But I'll beat you tomorrow world! Just you wait! If it's a war the world wants, it's a war it will get!

This icon is called "Spite." I'm thinking of using it as my default icon for a while.
( Oct. 25th, 2007 02:18 am)
I realize that I might not come off as the type of person who loves lists. I'm messy, I like skipping class, I generally lose stuff, and I have a tendency to stay up way to late *stares guiltily at the time.* What I am not, however, is disorganized. That is why I like having lists. I finally decided to add to my organizer, my spare organizer at [ profile] aj_stalin's house, my lists of menus and foods I can eat, my packing lists for trips and larps and my general half-year-plans; the great-all-encompassing-reading-list! Now, I know exactly what I am to read every day for the rest of the semester. And, suddenly, everything becomes clear. I read a little more than 100 pages a day, and I still feel up to doing other stuff, like spending 2.5hrs cleaning the apartment so I feel like that's in order too. Eivind scrubbed the bathroom, I scrubbed the kitchen and we washed all the floors and cleaned the living room. We are so good! And as well as getting things done, I feel like I know what's going on with the studying and everything. I should so have done this before now!

This icon is called "sirius black dungeon"
( Oct. 24th, 2007 02:42 pm)
The World Social Forum (WSF) is an alternative to the World Economic Forum (WEF) and had its first meeting in Porto Alegro in 2001. I am very interested in the WSF as a concept; with no leadership only loosely defined guidelines and the slogan "another world is possible", it attempts to find an alternative to the neoliberalization of the world and the capitalist globalization. At the same time, it wants to discuss different views, and develop bonds between different global and national organizations in order to create agreement as well as potential for future collaboration. All this is good, but there are some problem I see.

1. They have no elected leadership.
On the one hand, I think it's an interesting choice and I think it's commendable that they want to make sure that everyone feels equal in the decision making process and in the organization in itself. On the other hand I have my doubts about the reality of the equality of this type of organizing. It is my experience that attempts at a flatly structured leadership only serve to hide the real leaders and keep people from choosing them in a visible and formal capasity. Instead, you have a situation where informal leaders, who become leaders either because they take control, do more than others, or have the charisma or clout in international society that people will listen to them, have lots of power.

My question to you then becomes: Should they take the difficult, but perhaps necessary, discussion of how to make the voting most democratic, or should they continue on as they have before? Do you see a third alternative?

2.They have no clearly stated goals.
As a meeting place, a place to exchange experiences and connect/collaborate with other organizations, whether national, NGOs or CSOs, the conferance works well. To actually decide on what this "other world" is supposed to be, let alone to find a common ground on which to wage this battle against capitalist, neoliberal society, the forum has as of yet proved lacking.

Where do you think the forum should go today? Are you happy with the service it has rendered so far or do you wish it would bring more actual goals that people could fight for?

Discuss away! I'm actually interested (and it's almost relevant to my masters degree...)

This icon is called "sick barney"
Still not sure what to do about the money situation, but I'm thinking about it...I'm going to hint to my mother that I need new winter boots (she hates my army boots anyways so), maybe she'll pitch in.

But, I got skype! It's new. It's exciting. And most importantly, if I don't get any friends on Skype, it's going to be silent...So add me everyone? Would love to be able to talk to you guys! Martinesvanevik is my name.

As for the something else part, I didn't go to my friend/cousin's funeral yesterday. As always, I'm relieved at the thought of not being there in the general uncomfortableness of a funeral, and to honor her memory, we went out to have a few beers here instead. A few beers turned into "a beer, half a bottle of wine and whatever else we could find with alcohol in it", and it was smashing. We drank to her honor and then just got drunk. I like that way of honoring someone's memory more. When I die, I just want you guys to go out drinking. That will make me feel that you actually cared. Downside was that now I'm behind on my studying because I overslept this morning and missed my first lecture of the day. But hey, what can you do...Dead relative is a good excuse for missing a class, at least to me.

I'm off to do the dishes (hell now that we have parasites in the water and have to boil everything for 3 minutes) and then I'll go to school. After that, I'm off to my parents for the weekend. So I'll see you guys next week!

This icon is called "shoes"
( Oct. 16th, 2007 01:00 am)
You guys know how I always rant about how I prefere studying at home? I get a lot more done and I'm all by myself so nobody sees me doing all the stupid things I do when I lose my concentration. At least, that's my theory.

Usually, I make sure the curtains are closed before I test if I can stand on my head as long as I lean against a wall (I couldn't. I'm seriously bad at balance stuff. Also, if you plan on trying it at home, take your belt off first. Landing on your finger with a belt buckle is seriously painful). Or try to see how far I can spit a pencil (quite a distance, though not with enough force to go through a sheet of paper). Or make interesting new foods (today it was omelette with feta cheese, or as I'd like to call it; feta cheese with eggs). I of course did the same today, but what I forgot to check was if the window was closed. So there I was, singing Braille by Regina Spektor at the top of my lungs, with the hairbrush-as-a-microphone-cliche of course, when I realized that the construction workers outside had not only stopped digging, but had left their large machines to take a cigarette break, right outside my window.

At least the world could have done me the favour of having the cute construction worker with the ponytail and the large ear rings notice me and think I was cute. He looked more shocked...I'm hoping the look he was going for wasn't mortified, but we'll never know.

This icon is called "Rant"
( Oct. 15th, 2007 08:48 am)
The construction work outside my bedroom window has started, the weather is bleak and I'm awake. In 15 minutes I'm going to start organizing my life and reading. Babyshambles on the stereo and I'm drinking coffee, trying to relearn how to focus while I wait for the sand in my eyes to disappear.

How is your day so far?

early morning meme for those of us born in the eighties )

This icon is called: "problematic"
( Oct. 6th, 2007 03:04 am)
I was going to write a long post about how nice it is to walk to school in the morning. It's a 45 minute walk, and I always go to school while most regular people drive, or ride the bus or tram to their work, so the streets are all mine. This means I can walk as fast as I want and not have to worry about bumping into strangers or ending up behind moziers (people who like to walk really slowly, called "tuslere" in Norwegian). But, since I've lost the recharger for my creative player, I'm instead going to focus on the fact that I've stopped having the patience I had when I was little.

When I was young, I would be prone to walk all by myself, exploring woods and streets and apartment buildings for hours on end. Every part of the world was an exciting new adventure and I needed no company or music to keep me from being bored. I tried to duplicate this feeling my taking a different route to school when I used up the last precious minutes of batteries left on my player, but instead of being an adventure, I found it to be a tiresome and time consuming way of reaching my school. I started trying to walk faster just to get there earlier and not having to spend more time in my own company than strictly necessary. And it's weird because normally I like spending time with me. But normally I also have something to occupy part of my brain, like music.

So my question to you guys is: Do you feel that as you grew up you lost the ability to enjoy just walking by yourself? Do you need constant entertaining to keep yourself occupied enough to enjoy the simple joy of walking (or studying)? And if so, why do you think that is? I'm seriously curious...

This icon is called "oh bloody hell"
I overslept again...good side: I sleep really well these days and wake up rested and have awesome dreams. Downside: I don't feel like going to school when I won't be there before 12. Oh well, I can study from home today. Tomorrow I actually have a meeting at 9. Will probably manage to get me up...

In other news, I've just started a new rpg campaign with [ profile] sortkatt, [ profile] aj_stalin and Eivind. It's cyberpunk, and it's not hack'n slash. I'm so pleased! Already in love with my character (a 15 year old hispanic girl who sells drugs and live on the streets). This is going to be awesome.

Your Score: 9 Seasons

( 61 Costs, 86 Reception, and 53 Cult Appeal )

You are a rare phenomenon. You are the expensive show with a healthy cult appeal that still somehow managed to be a ratings smash. You are living proof that sometimes, all the planets can align in the right order. Although FOX would prefer something cheaper to produce, they're more than willing to make the investment for the returns you offer and the inevitable impending cash flow from your merchandise. You live a full life of nine seasons and retire confidently, knowing that you have secured a high place in the history of television.

Link: The When Will FOX Cancel You? Test written by hashtable on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

This icon is called "meg" (which means "me" in Norwegian)
( Oct. 1st, 2007 02:28 pm)

Which Supernatural character are you?

You're Dean! You're like those M&Ms you love so much -- hard candy shell on the outside, soft chocolate center on the inside. You're a huge flirt, and quite proud of it, even though you'd rather chew off your own arm than talk about your real feelings. You kick ass and you're smart, but without any special powers or a silly college education -- all your kickass is purely your own, baby.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Yeah, that's right! I'm so pleased!

In other news, I'm reading history and doing all my chores...I'm being good even though the motivation is still lacking. A week of this and I'll probably be back to my old game of loving the student life. I hope. 3 articles read so far today.

Oh, and I just re-discovered Deftones. Good times.

This icon is called "me pink"
( Sep. 14th, 2007 03:52 pm)
Because I'm unfocused, I decided to give up reading for the day and go take a few memes instead (the horrid post about all my study troubles will come later, now I'm busy ignoring...)

First meme:

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Place of residence:
4. What makes you happy:
5. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. Do you read my lj:
7. If you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment? Who is it?:
10. Favourite place to be:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weird thing about you:
14. Do farts make you laugh:

1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song and an album:

1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you.

(do this for me! Do it do it! The pants command you!)

2. meme:

Meme rules (from badgerbag):

1. Go to
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top umpty results
5. Bold the jobs you've had
6. Star the ones you've seriously considered
7. XX the ones which would absolutely not suit you

most of these are jobs I want. Few of them are jobs I can do )

This icon is called "love (dean)"
( Sep. 12th, 2007 05:27 pm)
I knew I was on my way home the moment I heard two Norwegians talking in Heathrow airport. They complained about the prizes of passports and how everything was too expensive in Norway. Then I got off the plane in Oslo, another couple complained about the state of the stairs. And finally, when I tried smiling to the security guards, brainwashed by the smiling American people, they frowned and looked extra closely at my luggage. And that's when I knew I was home.

Yes everybody, I'm back in the country.

Then, of course, my mom met me and hugged me and gave me dinner. The next day I came back to Oslo and got drunk and happy with [ profile] aj_stalin and Eivind and today I'm trying to get into the whole studying thing and it's working halfway. So all in all, I'm happy to be home. But, you know, I wouldn't be Norwegian if I couldn't find a way to focus on the bad parts to justify my need to complain, would I?

This icon is called "lost", and it fits surprisingly well with how I feel at my university right now. But soon, my friends, I will remember how good it is to be here studying and will stop feeling out of place and disconnected, I'm sure (I hope...)
If I had spent my entire trip here in California, I don't think I'd even want to leave and go back to Norway. I love it here. I'd just import all the people I love from Norway and stay here forever. Afterall, the first time I decided which college I was going to go to, I chose Stanford (I was about 11, and I wanted to be an astronaut). Alas, I do have to leave, tomorrow to be precise, and I'll just have to live through the heartache of leaving this place with it's awesome people, comfortable climate, beauty and okay liberal politics.

At least I'll be home in time to cheer my father on in the elections (he's running for major in Holmestrand).

I know that a large part of why I fell in love with California is due to a few people. [ profile] jhkim, [ profile] badgerbag, [ profile] a_stoolpidgeon, [ profile] abigor60 and [ profile] chesire_monkey. I'm going to miss you all so much! You guys are awesome people and if you ever want to come to Norway...scratch that: When you come to Norway (because if you don't I'll just have to come over here and get you), you have to stay with me, at least for a few days. Thank you for making this trip even better!

This icon is called "legion of fate"
I'm soon to be going home. Sad, since my last two weeks here in the US have been absolutely amazing. Good, because I think this school year is going to be really exciting. I've decided to try and live off the student loan alone when I get home. It'll be tight, but I will have a lot of time to catch up with all the schoolwork I haven't been doing while here in the US. I think it'll be good.

In other news, I think there's a couple of months since I've had the pleasure of doing one of these meme's and posting the results here. interesting, neh? )

This icon is called "lee" and it's one of my favorites. I use it way to little...
Disturbing news reached me in the calm city of Sacramento today. I learned that once again had our so-called Princess Martha-Louise done something embarrassing. Did you guys know about this? I mean, seriously, angels? she's been a psychic from the time she was little? Gimme a break. Even if she was, that's no reason to make a school for it. Omfg. So there. 

In other, completely unrelated, news, I gave in and started playing guitar hero. Excellent game. I'm totally hooked. This will probably result in me doing nothing productive tomorrow at all. 

This icon is called "jude" and though many things in life is about love, my embarrassment about the Norwegian royal family has nothing at all to do with love. So there. Get rid of them. As soon as possible.
I'm back in California everyone. For some strange reason it feels sorta like home. I like it here. I'm visiting chesire monkey and abigor, and I'm watching them play guitar hero right now. Nice people. I'm tired of travelling around, and part of me is really looking forward to coming home again.

I have to return your videos before I go home [ profile] badgerbag, and it would be nice to see you guys again. And I think I might like to go up in the wine country before I leave this place.

(Og alle var enige om at det hadde vaert en fin tur)

This icon is called: "Jensen trouble"
( Aug. 25th, 2007 03:34 pm)
that's where I am right now. To be more precise, I'm at the public library in Greeley Colorado and am taking advantage of the free internet. Even though it's getting kinda late, I think I'll be driving on today, away from this little piece of rightwing, narrowminded heaven. I know you're probably stopping now, going, huh? what did she just say? But yeah, that's right. Greeley and the people in it are amazingly nice people. To me. But they generally don't like illegal immigrants (well, who does, but at least we don't let them freeze to death in winter rather than turning on their electricity), muslims, dark-skinned people, or faggots. So yeah. For the first time in my life, I elegantly left out the fact that I was queer in any discussion, for fear that it would become very uncomfortable. I felt like a coward, but then again, they beat up a californian guy, wrote "faggot" on him and hung him up on a telephone post and let him freeze to death. And the guy charged with the murder defended himself by saying the faggot came on to him, and it worked!

In other freaky news, if you go off the highway, people beat up drivers with california license plates for being californian, aparently...I'll make sure I talk to everybody, letting them know I'm Norwegian. I don't want a bloody nose
just because the people from Wyoming and Colorado are strange and violent...

On the other hand, I've had a nice week talking to people, hiking in Estes Park, walking in the Rockies and watching lots of movies with a really nice girl named Morgan. And now I travel on to Salt Lake City Utah. I promise not to come home a mormon everyone! ;)

This icon is called "jensen sex"




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