( May. 24th, 2009 10:55 pm)
I'm here, hunched over my books, so tired of studying that I don't know what to do. Even though it feels to me like I'm hiding my complete stressed-out-madness from the world, I have been told that this is not the case. So now I'll be hiding from the world until Tuesday. Wish me luck flist. I really need it!
Ever sit with a book full of sentences that are so dull that they lose all meaning to you?

*dying here*
And now I've gotten a cold. I'm snifling around in my apartment feeling sorry for myself with a tummy bloated up to a faux 3-months pregnancy due to the cheesecake I had yesterday, so worth it a headache, general tiredness and a sore troath. So unfair!

(the smart thing would probably be to take today off so I'd be bored out of my mind by tomorrow and therefore probably more inclined to study, but I'm forcefeeding myself Scale and Scope - the dynamics of industrial capitalism" instead. I figure I can probably get through a bunch of pages even though I'm all mushy on the inside. Wish me luck!)
I've been studying for enough years now to know my habits pretty well. When exams are approching and it's time for crunch, first my flight or fight instinct kicks in and I start dreaming of going to far off places; bicycling to India, jumping on a plane without checking the destination, you get the picture. This year, I offset this by deciding to go with my parents to New York in the fall.

The trouble with me, however, is that when I offset the need to be elsewhere by actually planning something, my brain instantly switches over to procrastrination mode and starts looking for a project. This can only be offset by there not being any viable projects that I actually want to do.

One such easily countered potential project was the reorganizing of my wardrobe. It entails moving the shelves and is basically deemed too much trouble. Therefore I could go back to reading. But then I looked out on my terrasse. It was basically undecorated, with old, white patio furniture which showed signs of aging. And I know it couldn't be that much trouble to buy new furniture and, more importantly, the reward this project would be clearly visible and almost instant. My brain started bubbling with ideas. And the minute that happens, it's too late. Nomatter how much I try to focus on my curriculum after that point, it just can't be done. So yesterday, I re-furnished my terrasse.

pictures! )

You are all invited to see it in person of course. I promise it's awesome!
Yesterday was my first full day of preparing for my exam in the history of Western Economic History (which is looming in my immediate future). It went excellent. 140pages read and understood. I felt positively on top of everything.

Today, however, I overslept. Then, I started reading articles like Richard Tilly's "German Banking 1850-1914" with lovely sentences like:

According to the "Mean-Variance"-theory, wealthholders with a given risk-yield preference (conventionally expressed as α) will reach equilibrium by fulfilling the conditions expressed in the following equation: and then follows a 28 character equation which I can't even find the symbols to replicate here, including 3 different Greek letters and Lagrange mulitpliers and what not else.

Thank you world. So far I've gotten through 30 pages. *sigh*
( May. 13th, 2008 07:16 pm)
Exams are approaching and as always, I end up not eating anything that takes more time/effort to make than a few minutes. It usually results in me either not eating, or eating obscenely unhealthy food. But, this year, just to top it all off, I seem to have developed an intolerance for cheese. And since all my secret recipes, not to mention almost all cheap/easy food to buy ready-made includes cheese, this limits my options severely.

So today, I convinced myself to make actual food. You know, with meaty goodness and healthy vegetables and all that. It was based on a sudden urge for moussaka, but since I haven't eaten that for ages and frankly could not be bothered to find a recipe (also, I think it includes cheese), I made my own version of it. I call it moussakish.

Basically I made a version of my pasta sauce with lentils and put loads of pieces of eggplant on top of it instead of a layer of cheese and left the thing in the oven for 20 minutes. And it tasted delicious. *dances the sweet dance of victory*

The best part: it is really healthy and I made enough for four people. So more food for me tomorrow!
( Dec. 12th, 2007 06:46 pm)
That's when I go down. Or, you know, have my last exam for the year.

I'm holding a lecture about Norwegian foreign policies after the end of the Cold War.

And the head of the history department is going to be there, judging me.

I've decided not to freak out. She said, freaking out. What I haven't decided on yet is how I'm going to cut more text from my lecture. It's too long. 3 minutes and 11 seconds too long to be precise. Part of me thinks that if I just keep it I'll probably be too nervous to speak in a calm and collected voice at the lecture and will be saved by my rushing through the first 3 pages, but somehow, it seems wrong to base my timing on that. Ideas? Hopes? Comments? General wishes of luck (these would be good)?

I'll see you on the flip side!
My last exam is nearing it's end, and as I've told some of you, and discreetly hinted to others, the people upstairs have started listening to techno music 24/7. Just loudly enough that you hear the bass, not loudly enough that you can hear what it is. So now my apartment resonates with their music all day, every day. In addition, lately, they've started yelling over the music instead of turning it down to talk, so I can make out 3 separate voices, but not what they're saying. I also suspect they have mastered the art of sleep deprivation to a hitherto unknown degree since they were having a heated argument (possibly, or you know, maybe they're just really loud) yesterday, at 1 a.m., when I was trying to sleep, and still was up playing more music today before I got up at 9. This is driving me insane! But, I've so far had about 5 parties where I forgot to give notice to my neighbours, and thus, complaining about these guys might open me up for attack. I'll leave it up to you to decide what to do!

[Poll #1104777]

I was also bored and unfocused so I took some memes )
Do you know what will wake you up in the morning if you're really tired? Going to the dentist and having him poke in your mouth with sharp objects. OMG that's a bad way to start the day. I was all shivery and in need of cigarettes after (but since I quit, and didn't even have the money to pay said dentist who had to print out a bill for me and let me pay later, I couldn't have any cigarettes...life sucks).

But at least I was awake, right? So writing the rest of my lecture should be easy compared to being poked with sharp objects? Wrong. Still unfocused. Still going nowhere. I've written a long introduction, a longer historical back drop and a very, some might say ridiculously, short main part. 2 days to go...

In other news, I don't think I'm going to pay for my lj next year. So I'm saying goodbye to all my sweet sweet icons and will go back to the ad based 15 icons instead. Quality before quantity apparently...
( Dec. 9th, 2007 06:49 pm)
Since I'm completely unfocused for my exam, I'll give you this years high lights. That is, I'll do that thing that you're all doing with going through my journal and writing the first sentence of the first post of every month. It'll be fun, I'm sure!

January:This year's new year's eve party had all the ingredients for a legendary experience

the rest of the year )
I passed! I so passed! I would even go so far as to say that I almost nailed it! Wish I'd have said some things I didn't, forgot one article, but basically they gave me lots of praise and smiles. So awesome!

Then I picked up my next exam assignment and realized that if it had been a written exam I would have failed, because I really need to sit down and re-read the curriculum to answer this one. But hey, I have a week to prepare. See me preparing!
( Dec. 6th, 2007 09:20 am)
Well, here I am, sitting in my apartment, wishing I was anywhere else. Somewhere I could focus. Preferably somewhere without a computer full of stuff I would rather be doing/watching than school work. I promised myself I could work on my writing if I actually finished preparing for my two bloody exams tomorrow, but somehow I doubt that I will be that effective. After all I was up at 8 o'clock sharp, and have still managed to do nothing more than eat porridge, drunk coffee and watched Californication. Now that I've finished reading my flist, I guess I should really get to work *diving figuratively speaking down into the really dull articles on historiography and historical method*

I can't wait till my finals are over and I can be social again. Right now, it feels like I'm trapped in a gold fish bowl: No way out and with people watching me.




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